Look. This is not a conversation I want to have.
I’d rather continue avoiding it but since my kids seem to have moved beyond the age of play dates where moms are invited too, this has got to be said:
Please don’t invite my child to your house.
We aren’t coming.
I know that sounds harsh.
It’s not you. I promise. It’s everyone.
It’s the world.
In our jobs, my husband and I have seen too much to send my kid (alone) to anyone’s home. I don’t know what happens in others’ homes once they close that door. I don’t know what they allow that I’m not okay with.
Got a drop-off birthday party at your house with lots of kids—I can probably do that. Want everyone at the party to stay the night? Not happening. Want my kid to come over for a few hours after school? Also not happening.
This has actually been a house rule since before my kids were born. Now that may make me a helicopter parent. It will also probably hurt your feelings and maybe even make you angry. Maybe you’ll even complain about me to the other moms or make snide remarks to your child that she will then repeat to my child (ask me how I know).
It’s definitely not fun for me to repeatedly deny my child and to know the other moms are talking about me.
It’s not fun for my child to feel different because we don’t allow her to go play at her friends’ homes.
But I’m willing to be a little uncomfortable; I’m willing to be the outsider in our mom group; I’m willing to sit with my anxiety over her being ostracized and have those hard conversations with her if it means she’s safe.
Because that’s my ONE job—to keep her safe. And I’m not going to apologize for it.