It was about 2 o’clock in the morning. The baby had been crying for hours, and the only way to calm him was to pace the floor or nurse him. I was sore, tired, and angry. So, I woke my husband. “Babe, I’m gonna need you to take a turn with him because I’m about to throw him out of the window.” Gasp. Did I really say that out loud? As a matter of fact, I did. What’s even more shocking is that I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it. Maybe you’ve had a similar thought, but you were afraid to admit it. Well, I’m here to let you know that you’re not alone. Being a mom is hard and there are many days I don’t like it. If you’ve ever had any of these thoughts, guess what? You’re a normal, human mother!
I wonder what would happen if I just get in the car and drive away?
I had this thought a few times after I had my 4th baby. With 4 kids under the age of 6, my days were full of needy little people, and some days I felt like I had nothing left to give. When they were all crying at once, I was eyeing the car and contemplating my escape!
I am so mad right now, I could hurt this child!
Once, when my daughter was throwing a huge fit in the lobby of the ballet studio, I had the overwhelming urge to stomp on her toes. I have no idea why, other than I was embarrassed that she was making such a scene, and mad that it was for absolutely no reason at all. Thankfully, I didn’t do it, but I won’t lie to you. I really wanted to!
I love him because he’s my son, but I really don’t like him very much.
Let’s face it. Kids can be little toots and sometimes, they’re very hard to like. Seeing our own negative character traits in our children is especially difficult. I tend to be sarcastic, and it’s not a quality I’m proud to possess. Hearing smart aleck words and tones come from my son’s mouth makes me cringe. He comes by it honestly, but man, when he gets on a roll, it’s hard to want to be around him.
Why did I even have kids? I can’t do anything I want to do anymore!
This thought usually pops in my head when I’m feeling sorry for myself. Friends are getting together and I can’t go, or we’re missing out on something fun because of a sick kid, and I just want to have a pity party. Sometimes, binge watching my show or eating out at a nice restaurant or sleeping til noon seem like things that would be way better than fixing lunches I know they won’t eat, going to the fast food place because it’s cheaper, or waking up at 6 A.M. to take them to a swim meet.
I’ll say it again: being a mom is hard, and sometimes we need to hear other moms admit that they’ve had ‘terrible’ thoughts too. More importantly, however, we need to hear other moms remind us that this too shall pass.
We won’t always be so exhausted, the kids will eventually stop throwing a fit every time we tell them no. And one day they’ll be old enough to stay home alone for a few hours while we go to dinner with our husbands. Acknowledging the hard is all well and good, but don’t forget to be thankful for the life you’ve been given. Don’t squander away precious moments with your kids wishing for nap time or daddy to come home. As cliche as it sounds, the days seem long, but the years really are short.
As a side note, let me say this as well. While it may be normal to have these types of thoughts sometimes, if you’re having them constantly, or struggling to get out of bed every day, or to provide basic care for your kids, or if you really can’t control your anger and frustration at them, please talk to your doctor or another trusted individual. You may be dealing with depression, and may need more than just some encouragement from friends!